On-line dating....My experience..3 days down 87 more days to go.

[asitis1111]

This is my first time here blogging (?), and I read an article about this female taxi driver in NYC doing blogging (is this a correct way to say this?)and it helps her go through daily lives. So I figured, why not try this? It is also my third day since joining one of those match making/ dating websites, and I've got a problem. I am starting to get bored already. I signed up for three months, and I guess I have to stay for that duration anyway even though I might not get good responses. So maybe I just wasted fifty something bucks. Now I read the article today.. I should have found this place earlier because I like to talk about stuff..

Anyway, about the matchmaking website, I sincerely wrote every single word (yeah, 100% my own word). I'm not a good writer, but I was really excited about the possibility of connecting with some desirable women, but I am beginning to find myself getting tired already maybe because I'm not getting the responses that I want. Should I be more patient? I was not like this before, but I think I'm starting to have a short attention span. (But then again, Donald Trump tells readers in one of his books that in order to be successful, "you have to have a short attention span so that way you can get more done faster that way") That makes me feel better. At least he and I have something in common except for the one big difference--billions of dollars.

Anyways, my attitude after three days with the website is like "Hey maybe I don't have what you're looking for for now,but at least you could reply to me!!) I like to stir up some controversy if I can. I throw things at people (not literally) so that people can start talking about things. Maybe my initial intention was just trying to test the water. I don't know. I'm just one curious human being. Here is my observation.

1. Most women pretty much say the same thing. (In fact, I do, too.) Yeah, they like outdoor activities, cuddling, candlelights, adventures and blah, blah, blah. They also look for sincerity, dignity, loyalty and family values in relationship. Me, too! (By the way, it sounds like they are looking for samurai than relationship--This is not what I said. I just heard it on the radio,and I thought that was a good one.) Yeah, I can be your samurai, your protecter and your guardian..:)

2. They don't seem to be the ones that they claim who they really are. How did I find out? I e-mailed them especially those who claim to be open to any discussion, be willing to hear any stories, and etc. Can they just say "hello" back to me? Maybe they all have short attention span.. I don't know. Maybe they are all successful.

3. What's really interesting is that I did get some responses. Some nice ones, too. But no photos. I don't mean to be superficial, but I do want to see what they look like.

4. WHat about the ones sending me e-mails without their names when I introduced myself with my real name? Are they really cautious? I'm getting a little bit careful as to give my name in the first place? What is a good eitquette?

Anyway, thanks for reading my rambling. I want everyone's honest opinion/feedback/ comment.

Ciao
A former ESL student from Seattle.
By the way, Go Seahawks!!

[messyman32]

Hey man, I was thinking about that whole thing too!! I am really curious how it goes! I want to meet some women to have fun, ya know, just go on a date for coffee or something.. Tired of sitting on my fat behind....

I totally agree with you on the Samurai thing!! That is awesome!!

And, alot of people on those websites talk about "adventure"... One man/woman's adventure is another's nightmare!! Some people think going to a new restaurant is an adventure!!

Well, I would say that 3 days is probably not enough time to work the cyber love lines. Don't pin all your hopes on that donkey, (Your ESL teacher would love that one), but you might as well get your 50 bucks out of it!!!

Good luck, may the force be with you!!!

[asitis1111]

Yeah, :) I'm trying to figure out how to get the most out of my fifty bucks. I am just going to have fun writing to different people everyday to see what happens. The funny thing is I tend to write non-stop on certain days, and I write a few sentences on some other days, depending on my mood. Sometimes I tend to be mellow and sometimes my attidude is like "Bring it on!" Different people react differently. Well,, this will be another experiment to keep me awake for the next few months along with other personal project that I'm doing. Anyway, it will be cool to meet real genuine lady.

[love8me]

men & women will have different views/ideals on what love or being in a relationship should be...but it will always change once you're in a relationship...having a lot of expectations of what a relationship should be --- would sound trouble...anywayz, in relation to on-line dating, i tried it and found someone whom i can be myself...it took more than three days though, we met thru itzamatch.com

[rainyuki]

Hey,
I just think that you kinda got off a wrong step in cyber dating perhaps.
It is true that there are so many ..... what do you call them, requirements that certain people wish to look for.
I was surprised by an ex-schoolmate who wrote this in their dating profile....
"The guy i love has to love his vegetables"
What on earth?! Lolz. Yup, life is tough. But sooner or later will people realise that somehow their dream guys or girls may not be the perfect match for them.
My advice for you, don't give up just yet!
Somehow, on some part of the world there is your perfect match, who is feeling as exasperated like you. Who knows? The next time you go online, the person might just be there.

All the best to you ! =)

[ganeshbalasti]

yes men & women will have different views/ideals

[Red Frique]

I am online doing the "dating" thing too, but as a woman I'm having a completely different experience. In many sites the women are outnumbered 10-to-1 and get absolutely slammed with responses. Often the fellow responding has not taken the time to read the carefully written profile put up there and is just sending out random emails saying "Wanna chat?" Or better yet "Wanna ****?"

Whether the site is a sex/swingers or dating/relationship one we still get those responses. Sometimes I respond with a one liner, sometimes I can't respond (depends on the site) because I haven't paid for premium membership and am limited by the emails I can respond to in one day. And the profusion of responses can lead a woman to be REALLY picky. It can be a head rush.

As for the photos and names thing, I do not reveal either even if the fellow has volunteered both to me. I know you think it's quid pro quo, but women online are at more risk than men are, and I play it safe and close to the chest for the most part. It is not until I have satisfied myself with his lack of insanity gonna kill me intentions that I send a photo or gove out my name. It's what all the sites recommend anyway, for safety's sake.

So bear with us, make your profile unique and funny so that it stands out in the scrum we get. Tell a story to illustrate why hiking/camping/rollerblading/movies are your favorite hobby. Make yourself personal and personable even if you are on one of the sex sites.

And good luck to you,

Red (I can be found on my blog at blogspot as redfriqueDOTblogspot)

[Vinchi]

I have been on various dating sites (eHarmony, Match, AmericanSingles, etc.) and frankly checking out a list of who is "compatible" doesn’t make sense to me, especially since I know I have fibbed a bit on my profiles (but who hasn’t, right?). It’s been my experience that an interview style meeting is NOT a date and that’s what usually happens after you simple chat online with someone on most of these sites. I think that people will spend days emailing each other until someone has the guts to ask if you should meet. I found a site which actually allows you put up an activity and if someone wants to go with you they simply contact you, which cuts all the pointless back and forth emailing and you actually go on a date. Matchactivity.com is a pretty cool site, its kinda new but I’ve contacted some really cool ass people there. Also, I got a promotional code that I found in a chatroom for a free one year membership check it out: [KPWR6]. I hope this helps.

[cheryl]

Hmm I have never tried an internet dating site but in early college I used to look around the profiles a little bit....actually I do remember one time I submitted myself to match.com and i got hundreds of responses. it was hard to sift through them all and so many guys seemed smarmy and too slick if you know what i mean.

Of all the one's I have heard of I am most intrigued by eHarmony.com, has anyone had any experiences with this company? they are the only ones who seem psychology-oriented in how they match up people and since that was my college major I give a lot of legitimacy to psychology. Well I am not in the single market right now but if I was I would be most interested in that site.

[madhusudhanan_mohan]

While dealing with girls, there were some major ‘Critical moments’ that almost all men have to come across, and 'Bridges' they have to go through.

Here I hope to help you see these areas and improve the ones that you need help with.

With girls, ‘Critical moments’ are those, when you have to do something to advance to the next level.

For example: You see a girl, and you like her. You have to decide whether or not you’re going to walk over and say hello. This is a critical moment. If you don’t do it, you probably won’t get another chance.

The problem with ‘Critical moments’ is that they almost always require the man to take the initiative and do something that can be REJECTED by the girl. This keeps most guys from even trying. And most guys have at least one or two areas that they’re not confident about.

If you are not confident, and know exactly where you are going and what you are doing, you are likely to make a mistake, say some thing wrong, and cause the girl to reject you at one of these ‘Critical moments’.

If you make a mistake, it would offend a girl. She may decide to leave.
Every new relationship is like a complex puzzle. You can make it through many steps, then make a mistake and have it all fall apart. Are you with me?

Here’s my list of Critical Moments:
1.Approach (Walking over and saying Hello).
2.Digits (Getting a phone number, email, address etc)
3.Date Request (Going out for dinner, movie etc)
4.Date (The actual time with her)
5.Hold hands (The first sustained physical contact)
6.Alone in private (Trust)
7.Kiss (The first intimate contact)

Considering the spectrum of audience, I prefer not to write the last three here. I left it for your imagination.

Before each Critical moment, there are certain things that happen. These often set up the Critical moment that is about to follow. If you are on a date, and you’d like to kiss her, her mood and level of enjoyment is going to determine whether or not she’s going to be receptive to a kiss.

The times between the critical moments are Bridges. If you set up the critical moment correctly, you will be much more likely to be successful than if you don’t.

After every critical moment, you have to give her some time. You have to successfully cross the bridge, before going through the next critical moment. Don’t try to skip the bridges, as it might screw up the things.

For me, the most difficult thing is the first bridge, and most important thing is fifth bridge.